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Store Disney by Matt Plotecher
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STORE DISNEY

Just walking through the mall the other day, when I noticed a
new Disney Store. Well, I think it was a Disney Store, but they
had some stuff there that I've never seen before...

(To the tune of "Prince Ali" from the movie "Aladdin")

STAFF:
Make way for merchandise!
Come pay for merchandise!

Hey clear the way in the mall today
A store you'll adore and it's here to stay
Oh come just succumb to an all-day shopping spree!
Write checks
Start at dawn
Soon you're overdrawn
And it's only half-past three!

Store Disney! Franchised are we!
At the Disney Store
Some fun toys for girls and boys
Just come and see!
Pocahontas scalping kits
And Godmother's spray-on ritz
Punching bags shaped like Don Bluth, coincidentally!

Store Disney! We've got CD's!
At the Disney Store
On track 6, another mix
of "Under the Sea"
Abusive rap by Bambi
Angst-ridden grudge by Happy
And Madonna love ballads sung by Grimsby!

We've got seventy-five "Jafar" posters
Plus his costume, complete with goatee
Coming soon are the Chernabog toasters
The toast gets well-done
Hope you like crumbs
At least they're low calorie!

Store Disney! The smiles are free!
At the Disney Store
What's Prozac? We're not on that! No reason to be
Just listen to "It's a Small World"
Until your mind unfurls
And soon you'll be happy chronically!

CUSTOMERS (sung counterpoint to above verse):
There's no question this store's impressive
Though the prices may be a tad excessive
All those numbers at once can quite unnerve one
I've got credit, I've got cash, and coupons.
Just enough to get the McLeach futon
As for the Cruella fur rank, I'll just reserve one

STAFF:
We've got Maleficent sewing needles
(Don't prick your finger! Bad for your finger!)
Dopey's guide to self-lobotomies
(And you won't mind! No never mind!)
Weight-loss shakes, endorsed by brothers Tweedle
(Drink two times a day!)
Pumbaa brand perfume--it clears the room!
You'll get noticed, we guarantee! Here, it's free! Take it
please!

Store Disney! You're all junkies!
At the Disney Store
All those plushys pull on you like gravity
And so good customers, line up behind the registers
With Mickey coffee mugs, Brer Fox brand tar
With the Chip and Dale
All-gold walnut jar
With PVC figures, your cels of Tigger
And your kids singing off-key
Right here at Store Disney!

[New lyrics copyright 1997 by Matt Plotecher]