Scene: A few months later than the setting of the round table of the girls night out, taking place at a lounge in the castle at Walt Disney World, in the evening.
Prince Philip: Ahh, a guy's night out. It's good to get away from the girls every once in a while, isn't it.
Beast: Don't let Belle hear you call her a "girl". She's a woman.
Aladdin: Same with Jasmine. Boy is she ever a woman.
Philip: If Aurora dressed like Jasmine does, I'd probably say that too.
Eric: You guys haven't seen anything until you've seen Ariel in seashells and a fin.
Aladdin: If Jasmine heard you say that, she'd sic Rajah on you so fast...
Eric: Well it's true. Ariel's just gorgeous in her fin, and she's got that hair, and those eyes, and that voice...
Philip: Hmm, typical Ariel fan.
Beast: You know, he sounds a lot like Aladdin. You remember, when Al was describing Jasmine to the Genie.
Aladdin: Yeah, you stole my speech, Eric.
Eric: Well you stole my voice, my looks, even my plot line to some extent!
Aladdin: Hey, I started out as a thief. Old habits die hard.
Beast: Here comes Prince Charming.
Eric, Aladdin, Philip: Which Prince Charming?
Beast: Snow White's husband.
(Prince Charming Walks in)
PC: Hi everyone.
Philip: You're looking very upset. What's the matter?
PC: Snow White just kicked me out of the castle.
Beast: Why did she do that?
PC: All I did is ask for an apple pie for dessert.
Philip: She got mad over a pastry?
PC: She hates anything to do with apples.
Aladdin: Jasmine loves apples.
PC: Maybe I should come to your place then. All I get at home is gooseberry pie. If I ask for a little variety, she gets all teary-eyed and says the seven dwarfs always loved her gooseberry pies.
Eric: Well, at least you only have one fruit banished from your table. I've got a whole group. No fish, no crab, no lobster, no shrimp. The other night Ariel and I went to a dinner party, and Ariel had a fit when they served lobster for dinner. Turns out she knew the main course personally.
Beast: Thank God Belle doesn't have any food aversions.
Philip: She doesn't pay attention to the food. She's always reading while she eats.
Beast: At least she stays awake through the soup course.
Aladdin: None of you have it so bad. At my palace, the problem isn't what we eat, it's what eats us. Rajah sometimes gets this look in his eyes. It gives Abu fits.
PC: He wouldn't actually eat you, would he?
Aladdin: It depends on whether Jasmine is mad at me or not.
Beast: Here comes Prince Charming.
Philip: He's already here.
Beast: The other Prince Charming. (As Cinderella's prince comes in)
Cinderella's Prince: How many times do I have to tell you, it's "The Noble Prince", not Prince Charming. The Noble Prince. Go watch the movie again, for Pete's sake.
Eric: For Elliot's sake.
PC: Don't throw in live-action movie references. That throws people off.
Eric: Well, this would be a lot easier to keep straight if you guys had real names.
Beast: That's the truth.
Philip: Look who's talking? Did your parents name you "Beast"? Or what is your real name?
Beast: Um, Uh, Well, Uh, I don't remember.
Aladdin: How could you forget your own name?
Beast: Well, I've been called Beast or master or your grace or your eminence for so long, I just don't remember.
TNP: Maybe we should give you a new one. We could call you Engelbert.
Beast: I could call you stupid.
PC: Huffy, huffy. True that your no Prince Charming.
Beast: Who'd want to be? All the movie Prince Charmings are such duds.
PC: Hey, I resent that.
Aladdin: You mean you represent that.
PC: As I recall, your own performance hardly got rave reviews, Mr. Less Personality than a Rug.
Aladdin: Yeah, but I beat the bad guy in the end. You just rode on by and kissed the girl.
PC: Some little crab told me to. Anyway, it's not my fault the witch fell off a cliff already.
Beast: Although that is an effective way to get rid of pesky in-laws.
TNP: I wish my in-laws would fall off a cliff. It might improve their looks.
Philip: Knowing your in-laws, I doubt it.
TNP: They're the only real down-side to having Cinderella for a wife. Well, that and the rodent problem she brought with her.
Aladdin: If you've got a rodent problem, invite Jasmine to bring Rajah over, and he'll solve it really fast for you.
TNP: Are you kidding? Cinderella would kill me. She loves those mice. SHE gives them names and food and clothes and all sorts of stuff.
Beast: How weird.
Philip: Coming from a guy who talks to teacups.
Beast: But they talk back.
TNP: I do have to admit, it's fun when all the other ladies at court have fits and faint when Cinderella brings out her mice. It breaks the monotony of receptions and balls and stuff.
Philip: Invite my dad and father-in-law to your next party. They break the monotony by getting roaring drunk and singing "Skumps."
Beast: It doesn't top dancing silverware.
Aladdin: But then, what could?
PC: Dancing candlesticks?
Beast: We have that too.
Eric: Someday, I'll have to see that.
Beast: Well, be our guest.
TNP: You just had to work that in, didn't you?
(Bambi walks in)
Bambi: Oh, hello, everyone.
Philip: Hey, who let the wildlife in?
PC: Someone forgot to cook the venison!
Bambi: Excuse me, but I am the Young Prince of the Forest! I have a right to be in the princes' lounge.
Beast: Well, if he's a prince, he does have a right to be here.
Bambi: By the way, Prince-uh-Beast, on behalf of all the animals in the forest, I'd like to thank you.
Bambi: For getting rid of Gaston for us. We're all very grateful that you had such a deep gulch for him to fall into.
Beast: No problem. Glad to be of service. We furry creatures have to stick together.
(Taran walks in)
Taran: Excuse me, but can anyone here tell me if I'm on the approved list for this lounge?
Eric: Who are you?
Taran: I'm Taran from "The Black Cauldron."
Beast: Are you a prince?
Taran: I'm not sure.
Philip: How can you not be sure if your a prince?
Taran: Well, in the books the movie's based on, I become the High King of Prydian at the end.
Eric: And in the movie?
Taran: I don't know. I didn't see it.
TNP: How could you not see your own movie?
Taran: Almost nobody saw my movie.
Aladdin: Almost everybody saw mine.
PC: Don't kid yourself. They came for the Genie.
Aladdin: Hey! In your movie, they came for the Dwarves.
PC: Dwarfs!
Aladdin: Dwarfs.
Beast: Taran, maybe you belong in the king's lounge. That's two doors up on the left.
Taran: Okay, I'll check there. Thanks. (he leaves)
TNP: That kid had a faint odor of pig on him.
Beast: Hey, look at the time! I have to go. I promised Belle I'd stop by the bookstore for her and pick up a few things.
Aladdin: I guess I'll get going too. Jasmine always "forgets" to feed Rajah when I come home late, and then leaves him out by the front door to "welcome" me.
Philip: Well, Aurora's probably gone to bed already, so I think I'll go over to Pleasure Island.
TNP: I'll come with you. I don't have to get home until midnight.
PC: I'll come too. Maybe they have apple pie over there.
Eric: I'm going to meet Ariel at the beach and go for a swim.
Aladdin: We'll have to do this again sometime soon!
The Guys' Night Out by Linda Brashear